It's been 5 days since

we lost Sparky and the thought of losing him breaks my heart. I can't believe I'm saying this but work right now is the best therapy.

Right now it's a bitter -17* out there but its supposed to warm up after the weekend and I'm looking forward to that. 

Anne's heading down to the Legislature to bring those pension forms in and then she's coming up to pay me a visit at lunch (4:30pm) and is bringing me some "Taco Bell." She wants to see the new office and check it out. 

What really upsets me about losing Sparky Monday is that we had him and then he's gone. The signs were there that he was just withering away and even if we did bring him home, he would have suffered even more and might have had heart failure right here. The FIP was also stressing his heart as well. Sparky's passing is a wake up call for me as it makes me realize how we can have something one minute and it can be taken away from us the next. I know Anne is really hurting and if I could make a deal with God my life for a healthy breathing Sparky, in a heartbeat. I would even make a pact with the devil if I could, I love Sparky that much. 

After work it's to my bank and home and a few short hours off and in bed by about 1am and back at it 10am to wait out in the cold. Saturday morning I'm having my breakfast at Tim's. None of this waiting in the cold for 15 minutes while somebody opens the outside door. At 10 minutes to 10am I'll leave Tim's and then walk to the office. It's still not open as James or somebody has to open the door to let outside staff in. But at least I'm having my breakfast and my insulin.

If those pension forms are ok, Anne's going to give me $400 to help pay Sparky's expenses. Another $200 more and then I get Komplete 8. I'll use FL Studio for now then Cubase 6 later in the Spring when I get that.

For good reason Anne doesn't want another cat and I don't either. At least not now maybe when we're down to just 2 of them. I'd like to adapt the cats if say there are 2-5 in a cage and I can pick one out and Anne the other. One I'd like to name Jazz and the other Skippy. Nothing can replace any of our cats, it doesn't work that way.

Why in 1974, living in my little New Westminster studio apartment, I never had a cat? Assuming I could have kept him for 18 years he would have been with me up until about 1992 and I would have got Pledges a year later. Anyway, that's all for now.